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FIJI
FROM THE HEART
    I’m Lena Chan Hae – married to George and we have three boys attending
    Xavier College in Ba.  Christopher is 18, Justin 15 and Jeremy 13.  We live in
    Lautoka and attend Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish.  I have been
    meditating now since George and I attended the first Meditation Retreat
    conducted by Father Lawrence Freeman at Pacific Regional Seminary:  but
    Sister Loyala and Father Denis introduced me to CM a little earlier through
    our Marist Laity Community in NADI.  Our children attended later retreats in
    Nadi where they were encouraged to meditate by their aunt Malinda Tugaga,
    and we’ve been trying to meditate as family since.  We’ve faced some
    difficulties doing this as a family, such as the different length of Meditation
    times for the boys (according to their ages) and our 25 – 30 minutes, so we’
    ve had to try our different ways to make it work – now they join us into our
    Meditation so we all finish together – and they don’t interrupt us.

    My irregular work schedule does not allow a set day and time for our weekly
    Family Meditation but we try to be flexible, and it always follows our evening
    prayers so it is not an added prayer time.  For me, my work and overseas
    trips sometimes brings me to the most awesome places for meditation like
    above the clouds at 38,000 feet during a duty break or in the middle of a
    traditional Japanese garden or in the tranquil, peaceful quiet of a chapel in
    Los Angles or Vancouver.  So setting aside a time for meditation that if there
    is a WILL there is a WAY.  The boys have to be encouraged often to Meditate
    on their own twice daily, especially when I am away, however, we’re
    progressing, albeit slowly.

    Since I began meditating, I’ve realised, upon reflection, that definite changes
    have taken place in my life.  If not in what others or myself notice in my
    behaviour or attitude, then surely in my renewed commitment to what’s
    important – my faith, my family, my spiritual growth; and then looking at the
    values that I cherish and desire for a God-centred life for myself and my
    family.

    After every Meditation retreat and as I develop deeper into his method of
    prayer, the Lord has slowly opened the eyes of my heart more and more to
    see things a little more clearly and understand a little bit more.  At this
    stage, I’ve come to realise that Meditation is a journey, and like my other
    journey – if I ant to reach my destination – I have to keep on walking, no
    matter how tired, discouraged or whatever state I’m in.  I often recall the
    feelings and emotions that I go through when I go through when I’m
    travelling.  When the journey begins to get long and tedious, I just picture the
    destination and I focus only on being there – not on how tired or tedious or
    how long I still have to go and that keeps me going.  So it is now with my
    Meditation – my goal is ultimate intimacy with my Lord, so I just keep getting
    up day and night, twice a day, no matter how tired or sleepy or lazy I am –
    and continue on the journey.  Whenever I feel like I’m going nowhere, and
    the journey seems pointless, I heard Mother Theresa’s words, “God doesn’t
    want you to be successful – He just want you to be faithful”.  Then I feel kind
    of bad for wanting to give up so easily and I get up and resolve to keep
    going.  The mantra seems to beckon and lifts me onto my feet again.

    God has been faithful – I can sense Him nearer and nearer – even as I
    “comedown from the mountain” , because the eyes of my heart are
    beginning to see God in people and situations where it would never have
    occurred to me before that He would be.  There is an overwhelming sense
    of gratitude and joy and appreciation at the most mundane and insignificant
    and I think only His Spirit could make that possible.

    After listening to Father Denis, Sisters Eamon and Denise at our last Retreat
    in Nadi, I have made some adjustments to my Prayer life and have put CM as
    my first priority.  Meditation now takes precedence and is the core or base
    for all prayers and amazingly I find myself being more attentive, focused and
    more immersed in all prayer especially the Holy Mass, the Rosary and the
    Divine Mercy.  I am not more consciously involved and appreciate more
    deeply the depth, mystery, beauty and meaning of the Holy Eucharist and
    other devotions.  Also, Meditation has given meaning to the Marist Charism
    and I am more conscious of my spirituality as a Lay Marist, and the mantra
    encourages me to strive to live fully my Marist way of life and to face the
    challenges of lift – especially to my Faith while trying to be faithful to the
    covenant I make daily as a member of the Couples for Christ Community.  I
    am eternally grateful to God for allowing me to learn and experience
    Contemplative Prayer – the Prayer of the Heart – or Pure Prayer.  It is a
    treasure – a precious, wonderful gift and is a great blessing.  I pray that
    many more souls may be blessed with this gift.  

    Lena Chan Hae
    Fiji
    December 2005