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FIJI
FROM THE HEART
    My earliest memories of prayer were being reminded to ‘say my prayers’
    morning and evening.  Beside Sunday morning Mass and Rosary, Sermon
    and Benediction on Sunday evening, religious practices at the time of my
    primary school days in Greymouth NZ were dominated by the Nine First
    Fridays and the Five First Saturdays and saying the family rosary for the
    conversion of Russia.  At the end of the Rosary there were also three Hail
    Marys for each special intention – and there were many!  My secondary
    school days were at a Juniorate for boys thinking of becoming Marist
    Brothers.  There began a routine of daily mass, community prayer,
    recollection days and Retreats.  I learnt that there was vocal prayer and
    mental prayer – I understood mental prayer at that time to mean ‘saying
    my prayers’ silently.  The Formation programme of my Novitiate added a
    half-hour’s meditation and ten minutes examen to the daily schedule.  
    Mediation and Examan were difficult times trying to keep my attention
    focussed on saying my prayers silently.  I remember finding Chapter IX of
    Book 4 in the “lmitation of Christ” a prayer that appealed to me after
    receiving Holy Communion.  My first years of living in Community and
    teaching in schools resulted in a slackening of my prayer life.  Prayer had
    become a routine and at times easily omitted.  A change began to happen
    when I was appointed to Napuka in 1974.  That appointment showed me
    very clearly that I was there as a Religious rather than as a teacher and I
    made a more deliberate effort at personal prayer.  During that time I
    attended a gathering of Christs and was told by a Brother that a Reglious
    who doesn’t pray for an hour a day is not worth his salt.  This was quite a
    jolt and his comment did not have an effect.  I began using a book
    “Experiences of  God” by Juan Bifet, which was totally based on Scripture
    and I found it very useful.

    Having the opportunity to do a 3 months Ignatian Spirituality course
    including a 30 day Retreat in Sydney in 1980 was another shot in the arm
    that I needed.  Soon after that I tried using the Jesus prayer but found
    difficulty repeating the same prayer.  I also tried Lectio Divana, but didn’t
    seem to be getting where I would have liked to be.   This was where I was
    at when I went to Father Denis for Spiritual Direction about 1995 and was
    introduced to Christian Meditation.  Being told that I must be faithful to a
    session twice a day and never to judge my prayer was what I had needed
    to hear.  I also appreciated that the constant deliberate saying of the
    mantra was a way of defeating the ‘false self’.  I need the discipline that
    the twice a day saying of the mantra and the weekly meeting requires of
    me.  I also feel very interested in reading the works of John Main and
    Laurence Freeman for their writing is so logical in pointing out the path –
    so simple but not easy – to union with God which is the goal of prayer.  I
    now feel satisfied that at least I am persevering.  

    Br Sam Eathorne fms
    Fiji
    December 2005